Cologne assaults: "The perpetrators are men who consider it their right to abuse women". (
Rudaw).By Judit Neurink.
The news of the sexual abuse in Cologne, Germany during New Year’s Eve
reverberated across the West. Over 350 women have filed complaints with
the police.
As someone living partly in the Kurdistan Region and partly in the West,
I am touched by the way the incident is creating waves that have
results for asylum seekers who recently came to Europe: borders are
closing and single men are less welcome.
But it also affects those who already are living in Europe; in Germany some swimming pools will no longer accept single men.
Voice from the extreme right claiming that allowing Middle Eastern men
in will lead to a rise in sexual violence, have become even louder. Now
this can no longer be brushed aside as racist.
I am reminded of incidents we hear of in the region where some of the
perpetrators originate: about taxi drivers who abuse women after they
step in their cars in their own, and men who grope women in shopping
centres and bars.
Violence against women is a problem in Iraq, and in Kurdistan a special
department has been set up to battle it.
But still women are killed in
honour related incidents, or they are forced to set themselves on fire
to make it look like a suicide.
Recently, a woman was found dead in an area not far from where I live in
the Kurdistan capital of Erbil. The initial reports were that she was
murdered. But a couple of days later, the police published a report
claiming she had committed suicide – that hardly anyone believed.
In a region where women are mainly valued for their honour, girls are
taught how to behave so they won’t attract the (unwanted) attention of
men.
At the same time, boys are often brought up as princes who can have
all they ask for. While girls are taught to protect themselves, boys do
not learn to keep their hands off.
And even worse, if boys misbehave, they often get away with it. But
girls pay the price, by being criticized or even punished for losing
their honour – even if they are not to blame, they do get the blame.
What does this tell men? That they are superior and have more rights.
And women? That they are second after the men.
While in Western countries women are considered equal to men, in Islamic
countries they are not. Their testimony is worth half compared to that
of a man, they only get half of the share of the heritage compared to
their brothers.
Religion, culture and tradition put men above women. Men have to look
after the women, not because as mothers they need protection for
themselves and their offspring,
but because they are considered to be
their property – or at least so it is felt. That’s why many husbands
keep their women at home and/or order her to wear a scarf. Because other
men may take the liberty to put their eye on them, or even more.
This clash between the sexes now has spilt over to Europe.
Boys who were
brought up in a world where women are kept away from their eager
fingers, find themselves in a sweetshop with all these western women who
walk around without a visible owner.
It’s not that sexual abuse does not happen in the West. It happens, and
incidents like the one in Cologne have also been reported during pop
concerts.
But what is new, is that the hunt is on. And that the perpetrators are
men who consider it their right to abuse women, as they are not
protected by anyone.
It’s a bit like the religious zealot who took and destroyed a bottle of
arak that was in my car, when I sent it in for servicing. He was not
wrong for taking my property and imposing his religious rules on me, I
was to blame for not protecting it.
Years of development of freedom, of feminism and fighting for equal
rights have been lost on these men. The fact that in a free society
people abide by all kinds of (unwritten) rules not because they are
forced to, but because they choose to in order to be able to live in
freedom, is lost on them too.
What should the West do, to guarantee the continuation of this beloved freedom, and yet welcome newcomers?
First of all: do not get scared. Fear is a bad advisor.
Second: add
lessons about the position of woman and the liberties of the western
society to the packet of information given to asylum seekers. And teach
them this society that attracted them in the first place, is based on a
balancing act that involves trust, respect and stability.
Third: punish the perpetrators. Because before everything else, they
need to understand how valuable this way of life is, and that westerners
will not allow them to destroy it.
The views expressed in this article are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the position of Rudaw.
